Katherine's Birth Story

My “guess date” was June 21, 2011. I had been having a lot of practice labor in the weeks before Katherine's birth. So much that I would often call Robert at work, thinking that she was coming very soon. Of course, each time I was wrong.

I was 41 weeks exactly, and the day of Tuesday, June 28, 2011 started of as usual- a lot of practice labor, but no baby. Robert and I went for a walk around the lake, and he decided to stay home from work “just in case.” The practice labor came and went. I was able to take a nap, play with James and have a normal day. 

We had texted our Doula, Jennifer, many times over the past couple of weeks, thinking that the practice labor was the real thing. At 4:43PM, I had been having consistent pressure waves (contractions) for about 90 minutes. They were not painful, and I did not think I was in labor, but we decided to text Jennifer (again) just in case. James' birth was very fast (4.5 hours), so we wanted to err on the side of caution. We told her that I was going to take a shower and reassess how I felt. At 6:00PM, the pressure waves were steady and predictable. I texted Jennifer, “Really think this is it. Not too painful yet. Saying goodnight to James then will lay down and assess. Rob will text in a bit.” I really didn't think it “was it” for sure, but was hopeful. Unbeknownst to us, Jennifer decided to leave work at 6:15 and head over. She had a suspicion that things were going to move quickly and that this was finally the time for Katherine's arrival (she was right!).

Robert and I went over to my parent's house, where James was, and said goodnight to him (we wanted him to spend the night there so that there were no distractions at home). I wanted to spend a few minutes alone with James, the last few minutes we would ever have together of him being my only baby. I told him that his sister was coming, and that he would be a big brother very soon. I was very emotional and was crying. As I was saying goodnight, I had some very strong pressure waves that I had to concentrate through. These were the first ones that I felt that made me sure I was in labor. It was 6:30PM. Robert decided to page the midwife, even though I didn't want him to. I was afraid that I wasn't really in labor and that I would have a house full of people when I just wanted to be alone. He said, “If this isn't it, then they'll just leave. But if it is it, and we don't page them, they may miss it.” he then called Jennifer and told her that he had paged Lorri, our midwife, and that the waves were 4 minutes apart, and I was having difficulty talking through them. Luckily, Jennifer was already on the freeway and she arrived at 7PM.

When Jennifer arrived, I was laying in bed, relaxed and looking “peaceful and happy,” as she put it. I told her that I was feeling anxious, and that I was not really sure that this was “it.” I was worried about James, about how he would feel not being the only child anymore, and about this new transition in my life. Jennifer told me, “you look too good to be in labor!” So she urged me to go for a walk. We walked up and down my lower driveway below my house. Each time a pressure wave would hit (they were 2-3 minutes apart, lasting only about 30 seconds-just how they were with James), I would stop, put my arms around Robert and close my eyes and breathe. Jennifer would massage my lower back (which I later learned felt so good because Katherine was posterior). I had taken Hypnobabies, and was listening to my “Birthing Day Affirmations” during most of my birthing time. I felt calm, in control, present, and not in pain. I was really worried because I wasn't in pain, and James' birth was very painful. Jennifer said that I was handling the waves with “such strength and peacefulness, that had I not seen it before (she was our doula with James), I would not have recognized how quickly Katherine was coming.”  

We returned inside, and instantly I became extremely hot. Robert and Jennifer got washcloths and soaked the in ice water, alternating fresh ones to cool me down. I wanted to sit on the rocking chair, but after one pressure wave, it was too uncomfortable so I felt like the birth ball might be better to sit on (it was, and felt great). Our midwife and her assistant were lost, so Robert had to leave and drive up to find them and lead them down to the house. This was the only time I really felt like I had to hold myself together- I did not want him to leave (he had to do the same thing during James' birth, too!).  

I felt like I needed to be upright, so I stood next to the bed, leaning over the birth ball that was on top of the bed. During each pressure wave, I went into a deep meditation and occasionally said, “this feels so good,” “peace,” “relax,” and “open.”

Lorri arrived, and I told her that I was really nervous because I had always thought this birth was going to be fast, and that I felt like I wasn't progressing at all (I wasn't in pain, and I felt too “normal” to be having a baby). Lorri suggested that I take a bath with only Robert there with me so that I could relax a little bit. I asked if she wanted to check me first. She gave me an internal exam, and found that not only was Katherine posterior (“sunny side up”), but that I was 7 cm dilated, and 100% effaced. She said, “Let's get you in the tub. You are going to have a baby within the next 30 minutes.” I was certain she was pulling my chain, trying to get me to relax and think positive. I didn't believe her (but it turned out that she was right). She had me do some “belly lifts” where I would pull my belly up and then push down, with the intention of turning Katherine over. They were not comfortable, but I did them.

I got into our bathtub, and continued to “receive the contractions with amazing strength, breathing through them and relaxing beautifully,” as Jennifer said. Lorri even remarked that we should video tape my birth to show pregnant mommies as a guide. That made me feel good!
  

Jennifer asked if we wanted her to film the birth with her Iphone. I said “no,” but she filmed it anyway. She says that most mommies don't want to be filmed, but are so happy that they have the video later. I would occasionally tell her to stop filming, but she kept on with it (I am really very happy that she did!).

All of the sudden, I had the urge to push and said to Lorri very softly with my eyes closed, “I'm pushing.” I was actually trying not to push, but rather to let my body ease her out naturally without any extra help. I was “breathing her down.” I listened to my body, and everyone there (Jennifer, Lorri, Candace- Lorri's assistant, and Robert) just let me do what my body wanted to do, without any coaching or telling me what to do. What an amazing and empowering moment that was! Lorri was very calm and quiet, and encouraged me to breathe Katherine out, which I indicated was my wish in my birth plan. I was squatting the entire time in the tub, and Lorri said, “If you want to push, you can.” I decided I really wanted to. So with one strong push, Katherine's head was born. Her head came out with the bag of waters intact, and broke when the entire head was out. I maneuvered my pelvis a bit more and pushed two more times and Katherine literally came swimming out. It was 9:08 PM. Lorri had to pull the cord to get Katherine near to her to lift her out of the water. She was 8 pounds, 6 ounces and 20 ¼ inches long.

Katherine took a minute to catch her breath, but she soon took a big breath of air and let out a beautiful cry. I held her, admired her, and felt so good. I got out of the tub, and went over to the bed where Katherine immediately started to nurse. She was so alert, looking into our eyes, moving her arms, and holding her head up by herself. Robert held her on his chest, and she lifted her head off his chest and started looking around for food! We left Katherine's cord attached to the placenta for at least an hour, giving her all her iron stores and nutrient-rich cord blood.

Robert was an amazing coach- he was so supportive, encouraging and loving.

I couldn't believe that it went by so quickly, just 2.5 hours after I knew I was in labor, I was holding my new baby girl. I felt wonderfully present, in-the-moment, and good. I had no pain (and no tears or swelling). She was the most beautiful baby girl I had ever seen, and her birth was very much like her personality- calm and peaceful.  

40 Weeks 3 Days

I am 40 weeks and 3 days along today.  I've been having a lot of practice labor in the last week (or 2), and it's been exhausting thinking that "today's the day" when it turns out not to be.  But I am just trying to be patient.  "Due dates" are just guesses, even when the exact date of conception is known- each baby is different and each Mama is different. 

I am officially very uncomfortable and cannot walk very far.  This is frustrating because, until last week, I was going to the gym everyday.  I also am not sleeping well, which is not new.  I get up to go to the bathroom every couple of hours at night, and usually by 4 or 5AM I can't get back to sleep.  I woke up this morning at 3:00AM and couldn't get back to sleep (and it's 1:00PM and I haven't been able to sleep yet). 

James is a little less clingy now, and he's still excited about meeting his little sister.  Sometimes he puts something under his shirt, or pats his tummy, and talks about his "baby."  It's so cute.  I asked him what he will say to the baby when he meets her, and he looked at me and said "Happy birthday, Sister!"  I melted! 

I am trying to rest as much as possible, not knowing how long my birthing time will be (will it be short like my first?  I sure hope so!).  I also think that second (or third, etc.) time moms can be a little more anxious around now because we KNOW what to expect.  Having a baby (birthing, recovery, and then raising the little love) is extremely hard work.  But it's so worth it all.

32 Weeks Ultrasound

Robert and I didn't want excessive ultrasounds, since they've been linked to brain damage in the baby. But they're sure good to have when you need them.

At my 18 week scan, they discovered a partial placenta previa. This means that the placenta was just barely over the cervix. If the placenta stays there, there is a risk of hemorrhage with a vaginal birth (and c-sections are routine). Needless to say that I was freaked out. The midwife told me not to worry at all, as 95% of all partial placenta previas "move" with the pregnancy. They don't really move, but as the uterus stretches, the placenta gets moved up and away from the cervix.

We went in for our scan a couple of days ago, and my midwife just called to tell me that the report shows NO placenta problems- everything looks perfectly healthy! I am so happy.

Here are a couple of pics of Baby Girl. She was estimated to weigh 4.5 pounds, and had big, chubby cheeks. She was moving a lot. The ultrasound tech remarked that she had "beautiful anatomy," and was a "beautiful, healthy baby." She also said, "I can tell that you eat well and take care of yourself." That was all so nice to hear.

You can see her eye and eyelashes on the top middle, the right cheek in white (middle-left), nose and lips. Hands are at the very left of the screen. Since she's so big, the pics are not as great as when she was smaller.

It was also confirmed that she's a she. :)

For fun: Comparing bellies

28 weeks with James



30 Weeks with Baby Girl

30 Weeks

I am 30 weeks along today (and starting week 31).  Baby Girl is about 17 inches long and 3.5 pounds.

I can't imagine getting much bigger, and neither can Robert who said, "I don't remember your belly getting much bigger last time."  Thanks.  hahaha   It is very true that the belly gets bigger much earlier the 2nd time around. 

I have been getting acid reflux at night, probably because I lay down too soon after eating.  I've never experienced this before, and it's really unpleasant.  There is very little room for my tummy and digestion.  Smaller portions and staying upright for a while after eating should help.

I have not been sleeping very well this entire pregnancy.  I wake up every 2-3 hours to go to the bathroom, and sometimes it takes an hour to fall asleep.  When I wake up at 5am (which I do every single day for some reason), I can rarely get back to sleep.  I just think it's part of the conditioning.  I know that when Baby Girl is here, we will be getting VERY little sleep.  So I am actually just enjoying the rest, even if it's just laying in bed.

Baby Girl is a rolling, kicking, dancing machine!  I don't remember James being this active.  And she's already got her sleep and wake patterns.  Most notably, she wakes up and parties when Robert and I lay down for bed around 9-9:30pm.  Oh great...  ;)

She was face-down last time I saw the midwife, which is great.  I can also feel her little body parts with my hands now- I can tell where her back and bottom and legs are.  So cute!

29 Weeks Update

My belly continues to grow and grow, much faster and bigger than the first time!  This means that I am achy.  Working out helps immensely (I do the bike, treadmill, elliptical, yoga, and weights 5-6 times a week).

I did the 1 hour glucose test to check for gestational diabetes this week (a standard test).  My midwife offers the option of having a high-carb breakfast instead of drinking the horrid Glucola drink.  I did the breakfast.  They also did labs (full blood panel, including checking for anemia).  Everything came back perfect! 

My belly measured 29, exactly on track for where I am.  My weight gain is perfect, too.

The progesterone has kicked in, and I am feeling pretty good.  I am still very tired, though.  But tired and happy. 

24 Weeks Update

I'll be 24 weeks tomorrow.  4 more weeks left until the 3rd trimester!  I am so excited to get to the 3rd trimester, because I am looking forward to the "progesterone high," which made me feel so great with James.  We'll see how I feel this time around!

I still have dizziness.  It's mainly from not eating often enough, not drinking enough water, or just getting used to the hormones and all the new blood circulating around.  I'm very tired- whoever said that fatigue lifts in the 2nd trimester was wrong.  At least for me!  And I recall that it didn't lift when I was pregnant with James, either.  Oh well, small sacrifices.

I am also gearing up for some good weight gain- for me, there is NOTHING I can do in the 3rd trimester from slowing the weight gain.  It just piles on then, no matter how hard I work out or how well and normally I eat.  But it's a good thing, I'm not complaining.  That's why I work really hard to keep it slow and gradual right now.  I think I'm up about 12-15 pounds now (it fluctuates, thanks to water retention).

My hormones are a little more ornery this time, haha.  I have very little patience for things that irritate me (like people smoking around eating areas, rude people, dogs at playgrounds, etc.).  And it seems like lots of things irritate me these days, and I definitely have a hard time keeping them to myself.  It's a good lesson, though, because I tend to keep things to myself instead of speaking up when something really bothers me because I hate conflict.  

Being pregnant and having a toddler to raise is a much different ballgame than being pregnant with no children around.  It's really difficult to lift him and run after him all the time.  Not to mention, I have pretty much kissed my beloved naps goodbye.  Being pregnant with a little one on the way is one of the hardest things I've had to do (...wait until she's here- that's going to be the hardest, for sure).  But it's also wonderful.  I get to share this with James, and it brings me such joy to know that soon he will have a sister to love and play with and share his life with.  And I do love being pregnant, all minor annoyances aside.  It's such an amazing gift to have the blessing to grow life inside of me, and I am very thankful for and humbled by this opportunity every day.

23 Weeks Pictures

It seemed to have happened overnight- I have a baby belly!  I am definitely showing a lot earlier than with my first pregnancy. 

Here I am at 23 weeks:

Here I was, pregnant with James, at 18 weeks and 28 weeks (keep in mind that the 2nd pic is 5 weeks later than where I am currently): 



18 Weeks- James

 

28 Weeks- James




Side-by-side comparison (although I will be bigger at 28 weeks):



28 Weeks- James



23 Weeks- Girl



22 Weeks' Update

The little fishie (as James calls his sister) is moving around a lot.  I can finally feel her from the outside, too.  It took a while to feel movement because, just like when I was pregnant with James, the placenta is facing my belly on the outside wall ("posterior," they call it.  It's nothing bad- just where it decided to implant).

I am getting over some 2nd trimester dizziness, a normal side effect of a large amount of new blood circulating in my body.  I realized that I wasn't eating frequently enough or drinking enough water (12 glasses now).  Now, instead of 3 eating big meals, I am just trying to graze every 2 hours.  This has made me feel so much better.  I am also getting more protein than my non-pregnant normal.  I've been getting about 80-110 grams per day- a TON, but it's also veggie protein (I don't need to worry about the growth hormones in meat that my midwives say to stay the he*L away from!). 

My belly has "popped," and I am looking mighty pregnant.  With James, it didn't op until around 7 months, but he paved the way, and just like most women, I am showing earlier this pregnancy (at 5 months).  I'll have to post a pic soon.

I'm still working out 5-6 days a week (I worked out until the day James was born, which was so helpful in relieving many discomforts) for 30-45 minutes.  I like the recumbent bike, treadmill, elliptical, free weights, and yoga. 

James has been kissing my tummy a lot, it's so sweet.  He's also been talking up a storm.  It seems like there are new words everyday.  And he's starting to make sentences, which is so fun.  The day before Valentine's Day, he said "I love you, Mommy!" 

James Loves His Sister Already

(click pic to make larger)

I've been trying to help James understand the new addition to our family.  When I ask him where his baby sister is, he smiles big and points to my belly.  When I ask him to give his baby sister love, he hugs and kisses my belly.  It's so adorable- I will have to get it on video! 

I am so thankful that they will have each other.  They are going to have so much fun playing together.  I know that James is going to be a wonderful big brother. 

Hypnobabies, Take Me Away!

When I was pregnant with James, my midwife suggested that I take Hypnobabies.  I did the home course, along with The Bradley Method class, and absolutely loved it.  It helped me to realize that every "strange" feeling is normal, that my body is healthy and perfect, and the power of positive thinking and imagery.  It teaches self-hypnosis to help remain calm in the face of the storm, and to be able to enjoy the miracle of birth instead of looking at it as something that needs to be numbed.

Among the little things I learned to agree with are:

• A woman doesn't "deliver" a baby.  She "births" a baby.  The mailman delivers the mail, and the pizza delivery person delivers a pizza.  A woman does not give birth to a pizza.
• Similarly, a doctor/nurse/midwife does not "deliver" a baby.  S/he helps the mother through the birthing process, and many times "catches" the baby.  The woman does all the work.  Again, we aren't talking pizza here.
• There is no such thing as a "due date."  Babies are not on a strict timeline, and are not "due" to be here by a certain date.  There is, however, such thing as a "guess date," which gives approximate time the baby may be born.  "Guess dates" are generally in the middle (40 weeks) of a 4-5 week timeline known as "full term."   Please don't ask when a woman is due; it gives unneeded pressure and the impression of impending eviction.  And don't start to pester when the guess date rolls around (and, for the love of your Creator, don't mention being "overdue!").  Nobody is late, everything is cooking just normally.  Just relax.
• "Labor and delivery" is known as "birthing time," because we don't need to attach any negative connotations to birthing a baby, which a most wonderful and miraculous time (and, yes, to some women even enjoyable).
• "Contractions" are "pressure waves."  Again, replacing a negative connotation with something that has less fear attached to it.

...and that's my rant for the day.  :)

Gift Registries for Baby #2

At the risk of being crass or sounding presumptuous, here are our gift registries (I've had a couple of people ask me to post this, and that's why I am commiting Miss Manners' cardinal sin).  We certainly don't expect anything, especially since most of the things we need are the "big items" (i.e., expensive).

Amazon.com (main registry):  http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/baby/1HQ8T9ZRYHJJR

Babies R Us:  http://www.toysrus.com/registry/search/index.jsp?_flowExecutionKey=_cD3A14592-0A51-E136-9D2B-17B25FC2857D_k96210BEA-CD07-8A28-A01D-766A2AAA2366&overrideStore=TRUS

What's in a Name?

Since we found out we are having a girl, we have been thinking about girl names.  We have so many boy names we like, but girl names have been a bit harder to come up with.  We do have a couple we really like.  But we are going to keep her name to ourselves until she's born.  We also want to meet her first and let her "help" us (or inspire us) to name her.

It's a Girl!

James is getting a little sister!  We are so happy.  Of course, I would have been thrilled with a boy, too- boys are so much fun!  Everything on the ultrasound checked out great for the little girl- she looks really healthy, and is growing just as she should.

After tellling him that there was a baby in my tummy, I asked James if he wanted to give the baby a kiss, and he threw his arms around my tummy and kissed me over and over.  He is going to be such a wonderful big brother!

Life is good!

Baby #2 18 Week Pics

Here are some pics from our 18 week Fetal Anatomy Scan.  We found out the gender, too!  We'll keep that under our hats for a little bit.

 There was some thumb sucking...

18 Week Fetal Anatomy Scan

I have my 18 week fetal anatomy scan today to check the baby out and make sure that there are not abnormalities.  Of course, if there were, we would prepare ourselves to deal with them in whatever way we could.  We may find out the gender, too.  I'm just waiting for James to wake up, and am drinking my water (not the recommended 32 ounces.  Sorry, ultrasound techs, but you do not need my bladder that full).  I will post an update later.

Nuts for Donuts

Oh, how I love pregnancy cravings (sarcasm should be detected here!).  Some women crave salad or veggies or fruit.  Not me.  I have been craving donuts and pastries (which I never eat), the same craving I had with James, and fast food (never eat that either).  With James, I thought about donuts everyday, and never had one.  I did give in to Del Taco (fries, bean burrito, shake) one time this pregnancy, but then it made me so sick that I just remember that feeling whenever I want fast food.

I know people say you are "eating for two" when you're pregnant, but really that's not true.  You only need about 200-300 extra calories (after 1st trimester- in the 1st you don't even need extra calories), which doesn't go very far when you are hungry all the time!  So I am trying to get those extra calories from food that nourishes me and my baby, and not from sweets.  No matter what that donut-shaped devil on my shoulder is saying! 

It's not that I am staying away from all food that I crave- I do have the occasional craving for a vegetable or Indian food.  I'm just trying to stay away from the unhealthy stuff.  We don't have sugar, sweets, highly processed foods, or dairy in our home, so it makes it easier not to whip something up when I want it (i.e., cake with extra icing, cupcakes, mounds of sugar on top of ice cream...).  Luckily, we live far enough away from shops that, when a craving hits at home, I am usually too lazy (or busy with James) to go in my car and get what I want.

My "Blah" Tummy

Is it possible for morning sickness to return?  I've had an unsettled stomach for 2 weeks now.  A couple of nights ago I woke up thinking I had the stomach flu, but nothing happened (even though I felt like I was going to die for an hour or so) and I fell asleep after a while.  I've been able to eat just fine (unlike the first bout with morning sickness), but just feel "blah," tummy-wise. 

Oh, and speaking of tummy, my Ergo (baby carrier) is getting a little uncomfortable with James sitting on his sibling.  Maybe one of these days I will learn how to wear him sideways (the directions are almost impossible to understand). 

Here We Go Again...

Who would have thought I'd be using Our Fair Baby again- for another baby?! 

I am 17 weeks along, and boy is it different this time.  The main difference is that I am more calm, knowing a little more about what to expect.  With James, I really struggled with the type of birth I wanted.  I found the first little scratch paper I would take to my then doctor, and it had all the things I didn't want:  To be confined to the bed, an epidural that doesn't allow me to walk, continuous fetal monitoring, a urinary catheter, IV's, to stay overnight, etc.  This was my first indication that I didn't want a hospital birth.  But I didn't know that I had any other options.  Thank goodness I found my midwife, who gave me the type of care I wanted and deserved.  So for Round Two, I've been seeing the same midwife, and there is no internal struggle about what I want or don't want.  It's such a relief. 

Anyhow, so far, so good here.  I've gained 3 pounds since the beginning (but it feels like 15).  Baby looks great.  Genetics blood tests all turned out negative (which is good).  I had some pretty bad morning sickness (nausea only) from weeks 7-12.  It stopped for a few weeks, but I've been feeling slightly yucky for about a week or so-- I sure hope morning sickness hasn't returned.  That's the worst, and I didn't have it with James.  I am still eating well and exercising 5-6 days a week, so that really helps me feel good. 

We're going in for our Fetal Anatomy Scan next week- I'll post pics then.  I am really torn on having ultrasounds.  They haven't really been proven to be safe, and some studies show that the waves actually change the makeup of the baby (in total plain English).  I am just going to ask for it to be short and abdominal (they don't need to do vaginal ultrasounds, which I didn't know until I met the US tech who works at my midwife's).  I am pretty sure this will be the last one (I had one earlier). 

Birth Story

It was Tuesday, June 2, 2009 at around 5:00 pm. Robert was gardening, and I started to get some strong, consistent pressure waves (contractions). Robert came in the house, but I told him not to call the midwife or doula yet, since I had been having pressure waves on and off for about 2 weeks, and was not sure that this was “it.” But these were different. They came about every 1.5 minutes, were pretty intense, but only lasted about 40 seconds. At around 6:00 pm, he called our doula, Jennifer, and told her about the waves. I got on the phone with her, told her that I was not sure that this was the real thing, and that I was going to try to sleep and get some rest. Robert told her he’d call her in an hour.

Just 20 minutes later, it was apparent that this definitely the real thing, so Robert called Jennifer and asked her to come right away. I was ready to have the baby! The waves were every 2 minutes, right on top of each other, and were extremely strong, with no chance to catch my breath in between.

Despite having been to our home before, Jennifer (after braving rush hour traffic) got a little lost, as most people do even after being to our home many times! I tried to stay calm, and take each wave as it came and not think too far into the future. My Buddhist mindfulness training had finally come to a necessary use!

Robert had to go outside to the street to flag Jennifer down, which left me alone with the most intense waves. He was gone for about 10 minutes, and Jennifer arrived around 7:00 pm.

I was upstairs in the rocking chair, going totally limp every 1.5 minutes with each wave. When a wave hit, the thing that felt most natural was to stand with my legs giving out, or to squat, with my arms draped around either Jennifer’s or Robert’s shoulders. I remembered in our Bradley Method childbirth class learning about the different stages of labor and what to expect. Transition was the stage most difficult to most moms, and was the stage most everyone asks for drugs and feels like they cannot go on—it is the steepest part of the mountain. I told Jennifer (also our Bradley instructor), “I think I’m in transition.” She replied, “You could be,” and later told me that she thought, “…but you probably aren’t!”

We went downstairs, and I went to the bathroom and saw that I had lost my mucus plug.

She suggested that we go for a walk so that my pelvis would open and the baby would descend. This sounded like the worst suggestion in the world, but after a little complaining, I ventured outside. I only made it about 20 feet from the house, and was having wave after wave, with no break in between.

Right before I went into labor, we ordered a pizza (which came during labor). Robert decided to grab a piece on the way out for our walk. As I would lean into and onto him, I would smell the pizza, which (despite being one of my favorite foods) smelled SO incredibly disgusting at that moment. To see him eat while I was in such intense and bone-crushing pain made me angry. I yelled at him to get the pizza away from my face. I would lean on Jennifer’s shoulders, bearing down on her with all my weight. I remember thinking, “She’s so tiny, and I’m going to break her.” After a little while outside, I told her I wanted to push.

Once inside, I sat down on the recliner in the living room, as Robert turned on our bath for pain relief. I told Jennifer, “I can’t do this. I need drugs, and I need to go to the hospital.” Jennifer said, “You CAN do this; you ARE doing this.” It was at that moment that I made the decision that I was going to listen to my body, trust it, and stay at home. That was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

While waiting for the bath to fill up, I complained of back labor. Jennifer had me get on all fours and do some pelvic rocks for relief (it did not work). I sat on the birth ball, and felt like I was going to split in two. The thought of lying down was spine-chillingly scary to me. Thankfully, I got some relief when I got in the warm tub of water around 8:00 pm. As an aside, I do not remember anything between getting upstairs and getting in the bath. Jennifer and Robert told me this.

Robert had paged our midwife, Angela (but accidentally paged the not-on-call Lorri before getting it correct). Angela, who was coming from Long Beach, was on her way, as was a NICU nurse from CHOC, Brianna, who was training to become a midwife. Of course, Angela got lost too (note to self—next time make signs in advance, and put them up when in early labor), as she had never been to our home before, and by this time it was almost dark.

I told Robert and Jennifer that I wanted to push. At first, Jennifer said to go ahead, but then, while on the phone with Angela receiving instructions, told me to stop pushing. Now, when the birthing mother’s body feels the need to push, it is akin to having violent stomach flu, and telling mom to stop pushing is like saying to the person with flu to stop throwing up. You just can’t stop it. The body pushes, and mom just goes along with it—it is yet another amazing thing our wise body does for us.

So I told them I would stop pushing. I tried not to push along with my body pushing.

Angela and Brianna arrived around 8:30 pm. I was finally given the “ok” to push. And I did with all my might. With each pressure wave, Jennifer would tell me to take two cleansing breaths to give my body oxygen, and then on the third breath to push. She’d remind me to relax my face, and chanted, “Down, down, down, push that baby down!” This was all so helpful. I was basically in a trance. I became one with my body and my waves, and closed my eyes most of the time. I did let out a few curses and a few bellowing screams, but for the most part, was pretty quiet (for me). My dad later told me that he and my mom had come over to turn the lights on our walkway on for the birth attendants, and at the moment of switching it on (on the side of the house, where the bathroom is), heard me let out a blood-curdling scream that he will never forget.

When I say that pushing was painful, I mean painful! I said a few times that I couldn’t believe people actually had babies! I think that breaking a few bones would have hurt less. But this was for a reason; this was finite pain, a good pain. It was also extra painful due to a couple of complications (I’ll get to that soon). Also, would I do it again naturally? In a heartbeat!

I never planned a water birth, nor did I plan birth positions. When my midwife asked me if I was planning a water birth, I told her, “I just want to see what feels most comfortable for me at the time of birth and do that—be it the bath or bed, laying or standing or squatting.” Well, the bath is what felt the most comfortable. In fact, I cannot imagine laboring or birthing anywhere else.

The entire time I was in the bath, I was squatting. A few times between waves, I would stretch my legs and body, but then would go back to squatting. That is what felt the best and most natural.

After maybe 20 minutes of pushing, I reached down and felt the baby crowning. Amazingly, I could also feel the bag of waters around his head—my water hadn’t broken! Finally, the “ring of fire” appeared and stayed for a little longer than I had hoped—basically until his entire body was out. Then James’ head was born under water. Angela checked him and found that his hand was out by his face, which can cause dangerous complications for mom and baby, including shoulder dysplasia and broken collarbones. I did not know that he was born with a nuchal hand until after birth. His cord was also wrapped around his neck.  She immediately told me to turn over on all fours. I said that I would rather stay squatting, and she repeated herself. So I turned over, my body still under water.  His head was out for at least 3 minutes until his body followed (I believe the bag of waters broke when his head came out).

With a nuchal hand, they want the baby to be birthed quickly but by mom alone (no tugging by midwife). It was VERY difficult to birth his body, since he had such a difficult presentation. Everyone was telling me to push, push, push. I kept thinking, “I thought that with homebirths, they just let you push when you want to!” I didn’t realize this was a medically-necessitated demand. I kept telling them I couldn’t do it, and to just “PULL HIM OUT!” They assured me that I could do it, and I just kept pushing, for what seemed like forever. Finally, just when I thought I would never be able to get him out, James Benford Fair made his way into the world. It was 9:27 pm. My father was born at 9:27 am.

The midwife immediately passed James to Robert, who passed him to me, and I held him in my arms, totally forgetting the pain and the intense work I had just gone through. I had eyes only for him, and said, “My baby! My baby! He's beautiful! He's beautiful! It’s nice to finally meet you!” He was just beautiful, perfect, and so peaceful. His eyes were wide open, and he carefully surveyed each person in the room. I got out of the bath, and fed James right away on the bed and birthed the placenta.  We allowed the cord to stay attached to the placenta for about 1.5 hours after his birth. After about an hour, the nurse helped me to the shower. James stayed up for 4 hours, just studying his new world calmly and peacefully.  He weighed 8 lbs 12 ounces, but probably weighed more like 9 lbs, since he "got rid of" a little weight soon after he was born.

Robert and I couldn’t sleep that night- we were on a “birth high!” It was the most magical, loving and powerful night of my life.

That night, there was a rainless thunderstorm (in June!), and an orchid that had been dead for many months outside our bedroom window started to bloom again.

Introducing James Benford Fair!

Less than 1 hour after he was born.

First night with James, a few hours after he was born (and Louis, the kitty).

Robert (and Angela, the midwife) weighing James.

Robert cutting the cord.

James a couple of days old. Entertaining already!

After almost 41 1/2 weeks, James Benford Fair decided to be born! He weighed in at 8 lbs. 12 oz., and measured 21 inches long.

James was born naturally and peacefully at home on June 2, 2009 at 9:27 PM after a 4.5 hour labor and delivery. He would have probably been born 2 hours sooner had he not had a "nuchal hand," which means that he was born with his hand up by his face. A little more painful for me, but I was thankful that it slowed things down as our lost midwife didn't arrive until I was pushing (Note to self: Put up a sign at top of driveway next time!)!

James was perfectly healthy, and was very alert right from the get-go. When he was born, he carefully surveyed each person in the room! He spent his first 4 hours in the outside world awake, not crying, and just taking it all in.

We are posting pictures both here and on a picture site: http://www.jamesbenfordfair.shutterfly.com/

41 Weeks Pics

Here I am at 41 weeks pregnant! We thought we'd take a couple of us together since we won't have the chance to take these pictures again!

One of the things I will miss most about being pregnant...

40.3 Weeks Update

Our "guess date" has come and gone, and the baby is still comfy inside Mommy!

We learned that the average gestation is 41.1 weeks long, and "overdue" or "late" is not until at least 42 weeks. The 40 week timetable (which is a bit antiquated, anyway) is just an estimation, a guess. Babies are rarely born on their "guess dates!" So don't think that the baby "should be here" or is "late" until at least June 8th!

Robert and I are doing very well. Robert is so excited, and can't wait to be a daddy. I am so happy that my baby is going to have such a wonderful, loving, and hands-on dad (and I tell the baby this often)! Baby continues to be active and healthy, and we are letting him grow as much as possible without worrying too much about when he'll come or thinking about any unnecessary invasive induction methods. He will be here when he decides that he's ready (Hey, labor and birth are hard work for him, too! He needs to gather his strength and be good and ready!).

We have asked friends and family to start calling us on our cell phones instead of the home phone, since we are going to labor at home and would like as few interruptions as possible! :)

My little guy has been such a great belly friend that I am actually in no hurry to get him out! People are always saying to me, "I bet you wish he was out already! You must be SO uncomfortable!" But the truth is that I am pretty comfortable, and aside from being really tired, not being able to roll over in the bed (like a turtle!), and the normal aches and pains that come from pregnancy, I am still enjoying this miraculous process!

Natural Born Babies-Video

(Our cats, Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong)

Our Midwife, Lorri (http://www.southcoastmidwifery.com/), has put together a wonderful documentary on natural birth entitled “Natural Born Babies: A Modern Birth Story.” This is the “rough cut,” but is still excellent, and so worth watching. It is on YouTube in two parts.

All those interviewed are clients of our Midwife, and don’t forget to watch the very end of the second part to see who they are and what they do for a living- it may surprise you!

Part One: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7DrP4-po5U

Part Two: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvONLKYfaIA

37 Weeks Pic (Full Term!)

Well, I am offically considered "full-term," which means that the baby can be born anytime and is fully developed. Wow, I can't believe how fast time has passed! By the way, I would have worn the shirt that is in every other picture, but I couldn't find it!

35 Weeks Pic

This picture marks the end of my 35th week, and the entrance to my 36th. I can't believe that I am already in my 9th month of pregnancy-- wow, time sure flies!

Robert and I have been trying to enjoy every precious moment of alone time before baby comes, knowing that these last few weeks are the last of just the two of us!

This last month is proving to be a bit trying- I am very tired, have trouble getting comfortable while sleeping, and have some aches and pains (all par for the course). But, still, I am enjoying pregnancy much more than I ever thought I would!

32.5 Weeks update

The baby continues to grow within perfect limits, and each time I've seen the midwife, he has been head-down (which is wonderful!). At this week's appointment his bottom was under my right ribs (his FAVORITE spot), his hands and arms were mid to lower abdomen, and his legs dangled over in my left abdominal area. He was posterior (facing front, aka "sunny side up"), so I am doing daily exercises to turn him around (the desired position for birthing). However, babies can turn during labor as well, and the most important thing is that he is, and remains, head-down.

On Tuesday morning (March 31st), I awoke to a rhythmic kicking from the baby. I immediately recognized it as the hiccups, and they lasted about 10 minutes! They felt like kicks, but in a pattern (like every second or two). I felt them again this morning, and Robert and I could see my tummy moving up and down each time he would hiccup. So cute!

Last night I had a nasty calf cramp (my 2nd this pregnancy) that woke me up almost shouting. It felt like my calf was literally a knot, and being pulled apart, and was much worse than any of the terrible cramps I used to get in swimming practice. My calf is still a little sore still (and it's 2:00 PM!). Leg cramps are very common in pregnancy, apparently, and no one can say for sure what causes them (some even say it's circulation issues due to the weight and placement of the uterus). I take extra calcium, drink TONS of water, eat well, and get my potassium, magnesium and proper salt, so it's just one of those strange anomalies. Some women have them all the time, so I guess I am actually lucky!

Ella, our girl kitty, has been sleeping on Robert's chest at night, which is very uncharacteristic of her. He says that she knows I have a belly friend, and she wants to be daddy's belly friend!

Grandma Velva Ann Higgins 1915-2009

My grandma (my mom's mom) Velva passed away healthy and peacefully on March 21, 2009. She was 94 years old, and fortunate enough to have a wonderful family of 2 children, 7 grandchildren, and 9 (and a half!) great-grandchildren.

I will always remember her as being strong-willed, opinionated, loving, generous, and funny. Living on Balboa Island, she would take daily walks and loved talking to the neighbors and petting all the island kitties! She was very interested in healing ailments through food and supplements, and made a huge impact on my life and my love of nutrition.

She will be greatly missed, and I am sad that she will never get to meet my son. But I am happy to know that some of her genes will live on through him, and hopefully I can pass down to him some of the wonderful things she taught me in my life.

We had a nice family get together after her service last week. She would have loved it!

(Brother-in-law Tim, Robert and sister Susan)

(Siblings and their husbands: Craig, Maura, Robert, Me, Susan, Tim)

(Tim and my Aunt Paula- Dad's sister)

(My cousins: Gabrielle and Carissa)

(Only some of the 3 generations of family!)

(Nephews Aeon and Nicky with my dad. The photo was totally dark, so I had to lighten it, which accounts for the bad quality!)

The Fruits of Our Labor!

No, I am not referring to the baby... Robert was finally able to harvest a salad made entirely of beets, beet greens, romaine lettuce, mesclun greens, and carrots ALL from our garden! The beets were a bit small, but exceptionally sweet, and it made us really appreciate how much work it takes to be able to eat something as simple as a salad.