My “guess date” was June 21, 2011. I had been having a lot of practice labor in the weeks before Katherine's birth. So much that I would often call Robert at work, thinking that she was coming very soon. Of course, each time I was wrong.
I was 41 weeks exactly, and the day of Tuesday, June 28, 2011 started of as usual- a lot of practice labor, but no baby. Robert and I went for a walk around the lake, and he decided to stay home from work “just in case.” The practice labor came and went. I was able to take a nap, play with James and have a normal day.
We had texted our Doula, Jennifer, many times over the past couple of weeks, thinking that the practice labor was the real thing. At 4:43PM, I had been having consistent pressure waves (contractions) for about 90 minutes. They were not painful, and I did not think I was in labor, but we decided to text Jennifer (again) just in case. James' birth was very fast (4.5 hours), so we wanted to err on the side of caution. We told her that I was going to take a shower and reassess how I felt. At 6:00PM, the pressure waves were steady and predictable. I texted Jennifer, “Really think this is it. Not too painful yet. Saying goodnight to James then will lay down and assess. Rob will text in a bit.” I really didn't think it “was it” for sure, but was hopeful. Unbeknownst to us, Jennifer decided to leave work at 6:15 and head over. She had a suspicion that things were going to move quickly and that this was finally the time for Katherine's arrival (she was right!).
Robert and I went over to my parent's house, where James was, and said goodnight to him (we wanted him to spend the night there so that there were no distractions at home). I wanted to spend a few minutes alone with James, the last few minutes we would ever have together of him being my only baby. I told him that his sister was coming, and that he would be a big brother very soon. I was very emotional and was crying. As I was saying goodnight, I had some very strong pressure waves that I had to concentrate through. These were the first ones that I felt that made me sure I was in labor. It was 6:30PM. Robert decided to page the midwife, even though I didn't want him to. I was afraid that I wasn't really in labor and that I would have a house full of people when I just wanted to be alone. He said, “If this isn't it, then they'll just leave. But if it is it, and we don't page them, they may miss it.” he then called Jennifer and told her that he had paged Lorri, our midwife, and that the waves were 4 minutes apart, and I was having difficulty talking through them. Luckily, Jennifer was already on the freeway and she arrived at 7PM.
When Jennifer arrived, I was laying in bed, relaxed and looking “peaceful and happy,” as she put it. I told her that I was feeling anxious, and that I was not really sure that this was “it.” I was worried about James, about how he would feel not being the only child anymore, and about this new transition in my life. Jennifer told me, “you look too good to be in labor!” So she urged me to go for a walk. We walked up and down my lower driveway below my house. Each time a pressure wave would hit (they were 2-3 minutes apart, lasting only about 30 seconds-just how they were with James), I would stop, put my arms around Robert and close my eyes and breathe. Jennifer would massage my lower back (which I later learned felt so good because Katherine was posterior). I had taken Hypnobabies, and was listening to my “Birthing Day Affirmations” during most of my birthing time. I felt calm, in control, present, and not in pain. I was really worried because I wasn't in pain, and James' birth was very painful. Jennifer said that I was handling the waves with “such strength and peacefulness, that had I not seen it before (she was our doula with James), I would not have recognized how quickly Katherine was coming.”
We returned inside, and instantly I became extremely hot. Robert and Jennifer got washcloths and soaked the in ice water, alternating fresh ones to cool me down. I wanted to sit on the rocking chair, but after one pressure wave, it was too uncomfortable so I felt like the birth ball might be better to sit on (it was, and felt great). Our midwife and her assistant were lost, so Robert had to leave and drive up to find them and lead them down to the house. This was the only time I really felt like I had to hold myself together- I did not want him to leave (he had to do the same thing during James' birth, too!).
I felt like I needed to be upright, so I stood next to the bed, leaning over the birth ball that was on top of the bed. During each pressure wave, I went into a deep meditation and occasionally said, “this feels so good,” “peace,” “relax,” and “open.”
Lorri arrived, and I told her that I was really nervous because I had always thought this birth was going to be fast, and that I felt like I wasn't progressing at all (I wasn't in pain, and I felt too “normal” to be having a baby). Lorri suggested that I take a bath with only Robert there with me so that I could relax a little bit. I asked if she wanted to check me first. She gave me an internal exam, and found that not only was Katherine posterior (“sunny side up”), but that I was 7 cm dilated, and 100% effaced. She said, “Let's get you in the tub. You are going to have a baby within the next 30 minutes.” I was certain she was pulling my chain, trying to get me to relax and think positive. I didn't believe her (but it turned out that she was right). She had me do some “belly lifts” where I would pull my belly up and then push down, with the intention of turning Katherine over. They were not comfortable, but I did them.
I got into our bathtub, and continued to “receive the contractions with amazing strength, breathing through them and relaxing beautifully,” as Jennifer said. Lorri even remarked that we should video tape my birth to show pregnant mommies as a guide. That made me feel good!
Jennifer asked if we wanted her to film the birth with her Iphone. I said “no,” but she filmed it anyway. She says that most mommies don't want to be filmed, but are so happy that they have the video later. I would occasionally tell her to stop filming, but she kept on with it (I am really very happy that she did!).
All of the sudden, I had the urge to push and said to Lorri very softly with my eyes closed, “I'm pushing.” I was actually trying not to push, but rather to let my body ease her out naturally without any extra help. I was “breathing her down.” I listened to my body, and everyone there (Jennifer, Lorri, Candace- Lorri's assistant, and Robert) just let me do what my body wanted to do, without any coaching or telling me what to do. What an amazing and empowering moment that was! Lorri was very calm and quiet, and encouraged me to breathe Katherine out, which I indicated was my wish in my birth plan. I was squatting the entire time in the tub, and Lorri said, “If you want to push, you can.” I decided I really wanted to. So with one strong push, Katherine's head was born. Her head came out with the bag of waters intact, and broke when the entire head was out. I maneuvered my pelvis a bit more and pushed two more times and Katherine literally came swimming out. It was 9:08 PM. Lorri had to pull the cord to get Katherine near to her to lift her out of the water. She was 8 pounds, 6 ounces and 20 ¼ inches long.
Katherine took a minute to catch her breath, but she soon took a big breath of air and let out a beautiful cry. I held her, admired her, and felt so good. I got out of the tub, and went over to the bed where Katherine immediately started to nurse. She was so alert, looking into our eyes, moving her arms, and holding her head up by herself. Robert held her on his chest, and she lifted her head off his chest and started looking around for food! We left Katherine's cord attached to the placenta for at least an hour, giving her all her iron stores and nutrient-rich cord blood.
Robert was an amazing coach- he was so supportive, encouraging and loving.
I couldn't believe that it went by so quickly, just 2.5 hours after I knew I was in labor, I was holding my new baby girl. I felt wonderfully present, in-the-moment, and good. I had no pain (and no tears or swelling). She was the most beautiful baby girl I had ever seen, and her birth was very much like her personality- calm and peaceful.
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